I got braces this week. This is my second orthodontic odyssey. I had braces for about 3 years as a kid, followed by 12 years of blissful occlusion, then my wisdom teeth came in and ruined the whole job.
My teeth slowly gravitated back into worse and worse malocclusion, until it came to the point that I was covering my mouth with my hand when smiling, like a demure Geisha, and my jaw was popping. So just after my 38th birthday, I had the consultation. This was followed by a date to get molds made of my teeth and have spacers put in, and then two weeks later the big day came -
First of all, there is absolutely no privacy in an Orthodontist's office. I don't know why they think I should be perfectly comfortable lying on my back in an obscene looking chair with teenagers inclined on either side, while they put a retractor in my cheeks that forces my mouth into a wide goulish grin and a little tube sucks and drains saliva out of my mouth. Various staff members and patients can just stroll by inches from my head and peer down at my obsurd and decidely undignified predicament!
Secondly, the process is long and unpleasant: fitting and forcing the bands on, painting sealant on each tooth, letting it dry, pressing on the brackets, threading in the wire, tying in the wire, etc. Then the orthodontist says, "You should probably go ahead and take Tylenol or Advil every 6 hours for the next couple of days."
Why couldn't he be more of an optimist and say something like, "Good news! You're going to lose a few pounds over the next few days!"
Before I left, they gave me the list of the foods I shouldn't bite or chew with my new brackets in:
chips, nuts, popcorn, hard or sticky candy, ice, gum, meat on the bone, dense chewy bread... in other words most of the good stuff. But I'm ok if I can still have chocolate.
So I have grillwork and my three young gradeschoolers are both fascinated and mortified. Their turns are probably coming soon!
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