6/17/2008: In-laws and near breakdown

My in-laws came from several states away to visit us recently. I was willing to move one kid in with another kid temporarily and provide a guest room, but they brought their RV. They parked it behind the house and "plugged in". They even ate their own breakfasts out there. I didn't know whether to be insulted or relieved.

They never call and ask us when would be a good time for a visit. They call and tell us when they are coming. It's as if they think we are retired and masters of our own schedules like they are. So they came while the kids were in school and while we had to go to work. Of course, this meant they were going to be on their own for lunch, too, and in this case I WAS relieved. I only had to come home from work and make ONE "company" meal each day (YIPPEE!) They did stay through a weekend though. We got to take them to church with us.

Now, the In-laws are not in the best of health. They really have no business traveling around the country in an RV by themselves. During this visit, the stepmother-in-law was getting over a long bout with the Shingles. That's right, you heard me. Yes, it IS contagious and related to the chicken pox, except it affects the nerves. Yes, we do have three children. BUT - she claimed she was no longer contagious.

OK! So we go to church on Sunday. We get in and sit down, get the kids settled with all the warnings to sit still, don't talk, don't rustle paper during the prayers, don't yawn and stretch your arms over your head during the sermon, don't poke anyone, don't squeal if you get poked, etc... AND about the time the service is about to start, the step-MIL says, "If you're having a heart attack it hurts down your RIGHT side, right?"

I say, "No-oo, the heart is usually on the left side of the chest, so it would probably hurt on your left side." (I'm giving her a frowny-look)
She says, "I was hoping it was the right side, because my left side and arm are really hurting."

So at this time I am giving her the frowny look BIG-time and THINKING, not saying; "AAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Don't you dare be having a heart attack!!!"

Then she says, "Actually, I think it's just my shingles acting up again."

I'm still screaming inside; picturing her keeling over, my Father-in-law freaking out, rushing her to the hospital, shipping her body back across the country, having my FIL living in his RV behind our house for the foreseeable future.... AAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEE!
However, I manage to stay in my seat and whisper to her that she should take an aspirin just in case; while I rummage around in my handbag for some Xanax for me.

Neither of us keeled over - praise God!