It's easy to get dirty - hard to stay clean

Less than two weeks ago I graduated from Jeff Justice's Comedy Workshoppe and performed my first stand up routine at The Punchline comedy club.  There was a sold out crowd of friends and relatives of the 17 people "graduating" that  night.   We each got about 5 minutes to do our new thing on stage in the hot lights. It was phenomenal fun to be in front of a supportive audience and to make them laugh.  It even sounded like real laughter.  I thought I was funny for a few minutes there; but I did check behind me to see if there was somebody back there making faces or pulling his pants down.

Then I entered a comedy contest at another club out of town.  Now, I want to point out that the info they sent about the contest said, "The more clever and clean you are, the more likely you are to advance."
I think this was a joke from the club owner.  I was gullible enough to believe it; either that, or my definition of clean is a h*ll of a lot squeakier than anyone else's.   I went in with just under seven minutes of well rehearsed comedy - or "jokes" as I call them.

After the first contestant, I knew I could be in trouble.  By the time the fourth came off and I was next, I was practically in a panic.   I realized that after hearing four people doing sex and masturbation jokes, and using the "f word" freely - the audience was going to be numb to my "clean" jokes.   And I guess I was right.  I say "guess" because the audience barely got a chance to decide.   I know I sound like sour grapes, but I can't help but wonder if the crowd would have warmed up to me a bit if I had been allowed to get through my set; but I wasn't.

There were three so-called celebrity judges who were mainly there to give critiques to each contestant after each performance.  One of the judges had a high hat cymbal to use as a gong.   He gonged me barely three minutes into my set.  I was pretty miffed that I didn't get a better chance.  Admittedly, I started weak because I was so psyched out by all the "dirty" comedy before me.  So I faltered a bit.   It's also possible that they took my opening little joke as bragging.  I said, "Well, I'm not a guy, ethnic, Jewish, bitterly divorced or a lesbian; so I guess my chance of making it in stand up comedy is thhhffft*!"
*(Made a 'raspberry" sound  and a zero gesture.)
I guess there were more lesbians and bitter divorcees in the crowd than I expected.

I did get some laughs after that, but not enough for the judge with the cymbal apparently.  Anyway, I survived my first bombing and I am still alive.  I am questioning whether a straight, happily married white girl can make it on that scene.  I also have been asking myself how edgy am I willing and able to be.  Frankly, I think just about anybody can come up with a dirty joke.  Being funny without being shocking or gross is a bigger challenge.  I believe I would like to continue to tackle that bigger challenge.

That's all I have to say about that for now.