Dear Comedy Workshoppe Guy:
I'm sorry that I was rather disruptive during the first session of the course. I came in late and then developed a crushing migraine and had to leave early during a bout with extreme nausea and auras. There is no excuse for that. I feel terrible about missing out on most of that first session because it seemed very fun and informative - plus I paid $449 for this short workshop.
I promise it won't happen again. At least, I hope it won't happen again. I can't really promise it won't happen again, since I had very little control over the situation. I can say that I will allow even more extra time over the travel time given by my navigation device so that I can have a better chance of being prompt. I can also bring Excedrin and sunglasses.
I do want to thank you for choosing such a nice hotel in which to hold the workshop, because I was able to enjoy a clean and quiet room while I suffered through my migraine headache.
BTW, I think the person who referred me to your class must have missed some, too. He obviously didn't hear the part where you warn against the use of profanity and dirty jokes. He is all about v*g*n*s and d*ck jokes. I even heard him call a heckler a m*th* f**ker. I was like, What?! I thought you were supposed to use witty banter to win the audience; not just yell, "Shut up, you m* f*!"
Anyway, I can't criticize him too much because he's out there winning contests - and he might not renew my prescription.
Again, I am sorry and I will see you next week,
Sincerely,
Your Student
cc: my shrink
Random attempts at humor writing by a lefty.
1 comment:
Dear Blogger:
It is truly unfortunate that illness interfered with your capacity to glean all of the pearls of wisdom from your comedy workshop last evening. Had you been present for the full 4 hour seminar, you might have heard the presenter explain that "gratuitous" profanity is not recommended.
For example, were a comic to simply say "Shut Up, MF" to a noisy patron, that would be both crass and un-creative. On the other hand, if the verbiage of "MF" was actually a critical element of a larger joke -- perhaps one pertaining to the sad vulgarity of afro-centric communication -- all of a sudden this same verbiage becomes not only relevant -- but infact essential -- to the joke itself. In fact, if one scrutinizes that particular joke carefully, the astute listener realizes that the joke itself is, in fact, a condemnation of such foolish pseudo-cultural parlance, not a celebration of profanity.
Be aware that the skilled comic will prepare such a response far in advance of a show -- waiting patiently for the opportunity to utilize that seemingly spontaneous "aside" -- the impression of spontaneity only lending to the punch of this witticism.
It is probable that this point was covered in the first minutes of your workshop, while you were likely sitting in your car, shooting unspeakable profanities and other uncouth comments at your GPS. The dramatic irony is deafening...
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